


i can't do this alone anymore ('cuz i'm no good on my own anymore)

by astankhane



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Cuddling, F/F, Humor in later chapters, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, No Smut, On the Run, Post- 3x08, Post-Canon, because they need that, detention centre break out !!, eve: wow i should probably get divorced, eve: you WHAT, go villanelle express your emotions !, happy ending dont worry, kenny is alive in this fic bc why not, oh no the twelve are both after them now, ok it starts out kind of bad but it gets better trust me, please they deserve that, refrence to drug use, sorry i am physically unable to write that, they address the amsterdam situation, tw: niko mention, villanelle is a little ooc, villanelle: yeah me too, we're gonna pretend that makes sense, xtra soft villanelle rights in this house
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27764395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astankhane/pseuds/astankhane
Summary: post 3x08.they both turned. now they have to figure out what happens next.aka villanelle realizes how much she's been missing out on since she lost her privilege to express her emotions properly. no one has ever sat down and told her she's allowed to be sad.feat. multiple prison breaks for multiple annoying russian children
Relationships: Elena Felton/Kenny Stowton (Mentioned), Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 30
Kudos: 162





	1. 15 steps

**Author's Note:**

> this is my fault for deciding my first fic was going to be a multichapter mess of a story. so sorry in advance i hope you guys like it
> 
> title from "I Was an Island" by John-Allison Weiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so basically this one is just a retelling of the bridge scene of 3x08. i had some feelings i wanted to get out so this might seem like a mess.

How is she supposed to walk away? 

Almost a year and a half of cat and mouse, running back and forth for what? For her to chicken out at the last second? To lean over that railing and ask Eve with her whole chest, to walk away?

  
_She wanted out. I gave her a way out._

15 steps later, Villanelle realized Eve that didn't mean a way out from her. 15 steps later and Villanelle felt herself freeze. Suddenly hypersensitive of the noises around her, she screwed her eyes shut. Everything was too loud. She could feel Eve getting further from her, the nonexistent string between them pulling tighter with each second, tighter around her heart until she almost couldn’t breathe. She could feel the people passing by, normal people, _people that had a life_ , as Eve put it.

_There_ , she thought, relaxing slightly. That's what she was giving back to Eve. Her life. That's what she...no. No, that's not what she wanted, was it? 

_"When I try and think of my future, I just, see your face over and over again."_

Shit. _Shit._ Villanelle had made a mistake. Eve had poured her heart out to her and Villanelle had treated it like a breakup confession. Never in her life had she thought so hard about where she would end up. Even now, she wasn’t thinking about herself. In her disregard, she had eliminated herself as a possibility in Eve’s future. She’d fucked them both over.

Eve had thrown out a line for her and instead she suggested drowning them both.

Still frozen, still stuck 15 steps from where she sent Eve away, Villanelle weighed her options. She could turn- and face the humiliation of seeing the back of Eve’s coat, growing distant as she slowly faded from Villanelle’s life.

Or, she could force one foot in front of the other and keep going. Face the mistake she made and live with it for however long she could before the Twelve could hunt her down and dispose of her like she was never any use to them in the first place.

Both of those options ended the same way, she conceded. Though, there _was_ a third option. Eve could turn as well. She was always bad at following directions. _Don’t run_ , Eve sprints up her stairs to lock herself in the bathroom. _Don’t pull it_ , she pulls the knife out from Villanelle’s abdomen.

_Don’t turn._

Curling her fists up and taking a deep breath, Villanelle decided today wasn’t the day she was going to be taking the high road. She had to see.

Villanelle turned.

She really hoped Eve was still bad at following directions.

* * *

Eve was very bad at following directions.

If she was being honest, her lack of compliance was what got her into this mess. She wasn’t supposed to go interview Kasia. She wasn’t supposed to fly to Paris and break into an international assassin’s apartment and stab her in the gut.

_More importantly, she probably wasn’t supposed to fall in ~~love~~ cahoots with said assassin. _

But when standing side by side with her, spilling out their thoughts like they were spending their last day on death row, Eve had never felt more alive. She finally thought they might have to stop running. Not from the law- she knew at this point both MI6 and the Twelve must be after them. No, Eve was full of hope for the first time that Villanelle and her might just get to stop running from each other.

But when Villanelle stood in front of her and looked at her like it was the last glimpse she would get, that’s when she started to get worried.

And when Villanelle asked her to turn around, her heart dropped to her feet. Just moments before she felt like she was in the clouds, rising up, up, to a place she could settle and finally let herself smile like she meant it.

“ _Don’t turn, just walk_ ,” Villanelle said, and Eve fell.

She felt Villanelle start first, the warmth leaving her back and leaving her almost panicking, knowing Villanelle’s end goal was to never grant her that warmth ever again.

Stumbling forward, almost not in control of herself, she mimicked Villanelle, starting her journey to the end of the bridge. During, Eve found herself thinking of all the people that had come and gone through her life in order to have Villanelle land smack dab at the end. Elena. Bill. Kenny. Hugo. Jess. Even Niko. He was out of her life at this point, his last “piss off” made pretty clear to her. Niko was…nice. He was a good man. A good husband. Maybe not to someone like her, but a good one, nonetheless. She wished she could have done more for him. And, shit, did they ever file for divorce?

Suddenly Eve jerked. The bridge. She’s still walking. She’d almost walked all the way to the end. Momentarily stunned, she stops. _What is she doing_? For once in her life, she’s going to listen? Do something by the book? Walk away just because Villanelle think’s it’s the best option for them? Villanelle has always been infamous for keeping a level head in stressful situations- unless those situations involved Eve. More specifically, Villanelle can never make a definite decision when it comes to her future with her.

And, well. Eve has always been bad at following instructions.

So she turns.

The first thing Villanelle sees when she turns is Eve. Well, there was nothing else she was looking for. But there she was, having turned before Villanelle, even. Villanelle couldn’t even bring herself to turn all the way, just sparing a glance over her shoulder, just a peek at a future she had erased for herself. But when she saw Eve, that future came back, full force, like a punch to the face, in full color. Eve was just happy she’d turned, having been worried staring at Villanelle’s back for a few aching moments.

All Villanelle could do for a second was stare dumbly at the woman on the other side of the bridge. She had walked a fair bit longer than Villanelle had, out of earshot, probably. She swallowed, and-

“Eve,” was choked out, a small, feeble prayer. Almost questioning. Even from this distance, she saw Eve mouth back, her face scrunching up. “What?”

At that Villanelle chuckled, a wet sound coming from the back of her throat as she was now on the verge of tears. She cleared her throat, in disbelief, and turned all the way around, facing Eve now. Eve had chosen her. That never happened. Villanelle always chose others. Pick and choose, like a spoilt kid in a candy store. Anna, she wanted. So she got her. But Anna never once chose her- not over her husband, at least. And look where that got her. In prison, she made do. She wanted Nadia. She got her. Quickly became bored- Nadia, as sweet as she was, would follow her around everywhere like a lost puppy, having virtually nothing sustainable to offer.

Eve, well- She wanted Eve. Did not get her, the first time- or the second time- or the third time. It seemed to Villanelle that for a short time she was the one chasing Eve, and Eve was the one choosing if she wanted Villanelle back. But of course, she was always up for a challenge. It never occurred to her that no one had really ever made her feel like this before. Like she wasn’t an automatic, a given that everyone wanted. But no, she didn’t make her feel completely _un_ wanted, either. Villanelle hated being stuck in limbo. But here was her safe heaven. Here, standing across the Tower Bridge, staring at her with the pinched brows and concerned frown (was Villanelle still crying?) she could see from a mile away, was her answer. Eve wanted her. Really, this time.

And of course, as everything started with Eve, she was the first to take a step forward. Tentatively, like she was afraid Villanelle might dart away if she moved too fast. From where she was, it almost looked like Villanelle was crying. She took another step forward. Villanelle seemed to snap back into reality when she saw Eve slowly getting closer.

Personally, Villanelle was tired of hesitating. She swiped her sleeve across her mouth before swallowing and then breaking out into a run.

They met in the middle, quite almost at the same spot they planned on leaving each other. Eve crashed into Villanelle, flinging her arms around Villanelle’s neck and burying her face into the fabric of her coat. Villanelle grabbed Eve as she fell into her and balled her fists tight in Eve’s oversized jacket. Eve, finally feeling safe, finally knowing in this moment everything is okay, finally then lets herself cry. And she does- bawling, practically, into the crook of Villanelle’s neck as Villanelle raises a hand up to cup the back of Eve’s head, pulling her closer into her. “Hey, hey shh-” Villanelle starts to whisper, before choking up herself and opting to tuck her head next to Eve’s, letting her know that she’s here, they’re both here, it’s okay now.  
  


“That was dumb.” Eve says, muffled by Villanelle’s coat. “That was so stupid. You’re so stupid, you know that?” She sniffles, pulling back to cup Villanelle’s face with both her hands.

“I know. I know,” Villanelle smiles, nodding, as a sob breaks free from her throat, but still she’s smiling, brighter than Eve has ever seen her-and when Villanelle closes her eyes and tilts her forehead against Eve’s, hands coming up to cover Eve’s own, she can’t help but smile as well.

Villanelle had offered they both drown- but they both just barely managed to pull each other out of the water. And now they’ll have the rest of forever to find ways to stay afloat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly this could be read as a oneshot, but i really do want to write more. that's what all the tags are for, yeah?


	2. do you still have it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guyssssss im back. im giving you guys some extra fluff because soon we're gonna have to hit the tags on the head. this one's mostly from eve's POV and also i found a grammar mistake last chapter and im literally about to lose it but its past midnight and i cant bring myself to proofread this one all the way either so i am so sorry  
> ALSO kenny is alive because FUCK ke writing team i love him

“I think my fingers are about to freeze off.”

Villanelle didn’t answer.

“Villanelle.”

It’d probably been ages that they’d been standing there. It seemed now that Villanelle had no plans on letting go of Eve now that she had her. Physically, as well. As in, Villanelle had not let go of Eve since she came crashing into her minutes before.

“Villanelle, we need to go,” Eve spoke, softer this time, pulling back. Villanelle begrudgingly picked her head up from where it had been nestled in Eves hair and looked at her, puffing her cheeks out in mock pitifulness. 

“…Yeah. Yes, you are right,” she admits after a moment, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath.

Eve steps away to ground herself again, jumping when she feels Villanelle quickly shoot her arm out to grab her hand, desperate to keep contact after their hug. She really couldn’t blame her. They really hadn’t had that much time alone together when one wasn’t trying to actively kill the other or trying not to get killed themselves. She squeezes Villanelle’s hand as an attempt at reassurance and then pulls her along. “Let’s go.”

Villanelle glances around as they pass by crowds of people, leaving the bridge behind them. “Where are we going? We cannot go back to Carolyn- “

“Yeah well I don’t really wanna see her right now either.” Eve says bluntly, glaring ahead. Villanelle laughs at that- Eve had made that pretty clear with her outburst just before storming out of Paul’s apartment.

“So?” Villanelle questions again, swinging her and Eve’s hands between them. Eve shrugs “I don’t know. I guess we can go back to my apartment.” Villanelle mock groans. “Is it still as messy as last time?”

“How do y- last time?”

Villanelle nods, cocking her head to the side. “Last time. The bear?”

“Ah. The bear.”

“Do you still have it?” Villanelle drawls, smirking down at Eve. She scoffs. Villanelle’s grin just grows wider at the lack of Eve's response as she swings their hands a little higher all the way back to the apartment.

* * *

Eve breathes out a sigh of relief once they finally manage to walk into her dingy apartment- having looked behind her back every 2 seconds worried someone might be watching them. Villanelle had since gone quiet, which albeit was a little concerning, but Eve chalked it up to the stress of the long night catching up to her.

Her suspicions were confirmed when Villanelle immediately made a beeline for the bed after kicking her boots off, not even mentioning how messy her apartment still was from “last time.”

Villanelle landed on the bed with a thump and immediately fell back onto the sheets- suddenly remembering how tired she is, she sighs and turns her head into Eve’s pillow. Before she could close her eyes, though, something catches her eye.

“So you _do_ still have it,” Eve hears from where she is in the kitchen, sweeping away various cans and silverware in lieu of creating a cleaner space for her new guest. Villanelle is holding up the heart from the bear she had hand delivered to eve not that long ago.

Eve hums. “I don’t think I had the stomach to get rid of it.”

“Didn’t want it to end up in the trash? Where someone else would find it and have the privilege of hearing my lovely voice?”

“Yeah, sure. That’s why. I wanted to keep you all to myself,” Eve mocks as she folds a shirt that was thrown haphazardly over one of the chairs in her dining area.

“Where is the bear?”

Eve looks around. “Uh…” Villanelle eyes her, absentmindedly moving her thumb over the button on the heart. “I wasn’t really in the right mind when I found it. Kind of…tore it up.”

Villanelle raises an eyebrow. “Eve!” she teases, grinning. “You tore up my gift?”

Moving over to the dresser beside her bed, Eve, blushing furiously, kneels down and digs through one of the open drawers, finally pulling out a tattered mess of a stuffed animal.

Silence. Eve was expecting Villanelle to bark out a laugh, tease her mercilessly about keeping her gift after she had destroyed it. She looks over to Villanelle, still laying down on the bed, to find her looking almost surprised. She isn’t looking at Eve but at the bear in her hands, and Eve sees a slight smile tug at the corners of her lips. It’s a surprising moment of vulnerability on Villanelle, apart from her usual smug demeanor.

All too soon though, Villanelle catches Eve looking at her, raising her eyebrows. Tilting her head back into Eve’s pillow, she closes her eyes. “I knew you liked me too much.”

If Eve thought she felt wide awake before, looking at Villanelle right now, she probably felt like she was never going to sleep again. Sighing, she gets up from where she was kneeling on the ground, and heads back to the front door to hang up her coat. She needs to get out of these clothes.

With the various clothing items strewn about her apartment it doesn’t prove difficult for Eve to find a comfortable change of pajamas, picking up a pair of sweatpants and a loose navy T-shirt. She heads into the bathroom to change.

When she sticks her head out of the doorway in the bathroom, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, to check on Villanelle, Eve finds her curled up on top of the sheets, asleep. Still wearing her oversized yellow coat. Eve finishes up in the bathroom and then softly pads over to Villanelle and kneels in front of the bed.

“Hey,” she whispers. “Villanelle.” Villanelle is conked out, the night finally having caught up with her. “Vil, you need to take this off,” Eve continues, reaching a hand out to shake her companion.

  
Villanelle whines and cracks open one of her eyes. Groans, and then lets Eve sit her up enough to gingerly loosen the coat’s tie and pull it over her head. Once it’s off, revealing just a loose tank top underneath, Villanelle grabs Eve by the arm and Eve feels herself being pulled over Villanelle and onto the bed. Immediately, Villanelle wraps her arm around Eve fully and pulls her close, tucking her head underneath the other woman’s chin.

“Villanelle- we aren’t even under the sheets,” Eve starts, but Villanelle just mutters a “Shh. I am tired,” and Eve finds that she can’t deny Villanelle at least a little rest.

Gently, Eve returns Villanelle’s embrace and sinks into the bed, finding that she is much more tired than she remembers. Forgetting about all the bad guys after them, just for a moment, Eve lets sleep overtake her.

* * *

The first thing Eve notices when she wakes up is how freezing it is.

The second is that she is currently getting the life squeezed out of her by her bedmate. Villanelle lays next to her, still asleep. Obviously having felt the cold, though, she’d taken to curling into Eve as much as possible as to try to keep herself warm. Eve could feel Villanelle’s breath on her neck, coming out in soft exhales. Deciding it wasn’t really worth it to try to move them both underneath the sheets, Eve tried focusing on the rhythmic movement of Villanelle’s chest moving against her between breaths.

Just as she felt herself slipping under once more, Villanelle jerks beside her. _Maybe the cold wasn’t the only thing that had woken her up, then._

Eve looks down, but the blonde is still asleep. She rubs Villanelle’s arm as an automatic response, offering some comfort, but soon enough the younger woman’s breath hitches once again, and this time Eve thinks she hears Villanelle whimper, albeit muffled.

“Vil?” she gently asks, and suddenly Villanelle is awake. Her head snaps up and her eyes dart around the room, wide and disoriented. Eve reaches out to lay a hand on Villanelles arm-

Villanelle swats it away in a panic and starts to edge towards the end of the bed. “Villanelle?” Eve tries again. Villanelle freezes- seems to register that Eve is there, but when she raises her hand again, Villanelle eyes it warily and visibly tenses.

“Okay, no touching.” Eve concedes. Villanelle swallows. Eve sees that she is shaking. Most likely she had a nightmare. _What could someone like_ Villanelle _possibly be having nightmares about?_

“No.”

Eve furrows her brow. “No to the ‘no touching’, or-“

“No, I- you, I- I’m, I don’t-“

“Villanelle, look at me.”

Villanelles mouth shuts. There’s a pause, and then she quietly lifts her eyes up to meet Eve’s, swallowing thickly.

“I’m not gonna touch you, okay?” A nod. “I’m gonna talk to you. We’re in my apartment. I don’t know where you just were, but right now, we’re at my apartment. The window is open. That’s why it’s so cold in here. Since I don’t really wanna get up to close it, could you manage getting under the covers? For me?”

Villanelle squeezes her eyes shut, but nods again. They don’t lay back down, but Eve manages to get Villanelle sitting up against the headboard with her.

“You don’t have to tell me what just happened. You might not even remember it in the morning,” Eve mentions, noting that beside her Villanelle is already looking drowsy again.

“I don’t know if I will either. You are so confusing to me sometimes, you know that? One second, you’re this, this inaccessible wall. Like I’m taking to a slab of concrete, only capable of witty remarks and sly comebacks. Not that I don’t appreciate that part of you. But sometimes, I see something else. Something that I believe not a lot of people pick up on. There’s always something dancing right behind your eyes, a feeling you wont let show for some reason. I swear I’ve only seen it a few times, but it’s there. I think I just saw it. Villanelle, I-“

Eve turns to look at her younger counterpart but Villanelle has suddenly dropped her head onto Eve’s shoulder. Eve is silent for a moment. Oh. She’d fallen back asleep.

Eve gently maneuvers them both down until they’re underneath the covers, careful not to wake Villanelle. Raising a hand up, she gently runs a hand through Villanelle’s hair, smiling when Villanelle attempts to turn her head into Eve’s hand unconsciously. Eventually she became tired once again- and so, to respect Villanelle’s wishes at least for tonight, she did not pull her back into herself- rather just took the other woman’s hand in her own and gave it one gentle squeeze before closing her eyes and succumbing to sleep once more.

* * *

The next morning, Villanelle wakes first.

Squinting at the light that is hitting her face, and then in turn noticing the woman laying inches away from her. Eyes widening, Villanelle racks her mind.

_The bridge. Eve turned. We went back to her apartment. I pulled her into bed with me…_

Villanelle softly rubs her thumb over Eve’s hand, which is wound loosely with her own.

_I had a nightmare._

Her hand stills. She had a nightmare. In front of Eve.

She squeezes her eyes shut and groans. Those seemed to become more frequent after Russia. After…

Villanelle suddenly felt too hot. Face practically burning with embarrassment, she threw the covers off herself and got out of bed. The movement must have startled Eve, as Villanelle heard shuffling from behind her as she surveyed the room.

“Villanelle?”

“Do you have any nice clothes here?”

“What?”

Villanelle looks back at Eve. “You said it was not safe here. We should go.”

Short. Clipped. _Villanelle definitely remembered last night_ , Eve thought. She decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and got out of bed as well.

A short bit later, the two were back out on the streets. This time, Villanelle did not reach for Eve’s hand immediately.

“Where should we go?” Eve asked. Villanelle shrugs, mirroring Eve the night before. “Maybe we should go visit Konstantin.” She’s joking, Eve can tell. But, something in the back of her mind is nagging at her. She brings the thought forward.

“Why didn’t you go with him? Konstantin?”

Villanelle scoffs. “He is not-“

“-family, I know,” Eve finishes. “but…”

Villanelle looks over at her, then forward again.

“I am guessing I did not go with him for the same reason you turned back to me.”

“Because you’re stupid?”

“I- you did not turn back because I am stupid.”

“No,” Eve laughs. “No, I think I turned because _I’m_ stupid.”

Villanelle stops walking. Eve does a double take. “I mean, no, no I don’t mean I was stupid to turn back, I meant I was…” she trailed off.

Villanelle raised a brow but said nothing.

Suddenly, when trying to think of ways to change the subject, a lightbulb goes off in Eve’s head. “Kenny!”

  
“What?”

“Kenny, he lives around here!” Eve exclaims. “After he moved out of Carolyn’s, he finally got together with Elena and moved in with her!” Eve was practically bouncing with excitement.

“Okay, I literally do not know who you are talking about, but- Carolyn? You are thinking of bringing us to someone who lived with-“

Eve cuts her off. “I trust Kenny,” she says, pulling out her phone. Villanelle rolls her eyes but leans against the brick wall of the storefront they’re next to whilst Eve starts talking animatedly on the phone.

A few minutes pass by, and Villanelle is thoroughly amused by Eve’s wild gestures and expressions she makes to the “Kenny” on the other end of the phone even though he cannot see her. Eventually, she hangs up and turns to Villanelle with a smile. “Kenny is going to let us stop by. Not stay long, of course, because he is extremely terrified of you and would probably piss himself if he had us living with him but Elena convinced him! So-“ Eve pauses, out of breath.

Villanelle nods, seemingly satisfied for now. “Alright. Where is this place?” Eve starts leading her down a side street, rambling on about how “I haven’t seen Elena in so long, do you think she’s still mad at me? Oh, she was mad at me before because when we were protecting Frank from you, I stopped the car and well, you know, but she was pretty pissed at me for that- and I mean now I’m bringing you into their home, but it seemed like she wanted to se you, do you think that’s a good sign? And maybe we-“

Eve stops rambling. Turns. Villanelle is no longer behind her. Shocked, she stands there dumbly for a moment- until she notices that the street they were on is now completely empty, and has almost no time to process that before she’s struck over the head and everything goes dark. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh


	3. i want to see her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OH NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS sorry this took a while holy shit but i just went back to school after a cyberattack and i totally just lost motivation for this,, so from now on ill probably update weekly my b  
> **  
> also idk how to write any of this stuff so im so sorry if i sound dumb oops

Eve felt like throwing up.

  
Not just because of the cold metal digging into her wrists, leaving red, angry marks made in part from her fidgeting. Not because of the fact that she could see cold wind in the air with every breath she let out, whilst having been deprived of the warmth of her coat almost immediately by her captors.

Well, yes because of that, but also because the last time she had seen Villanelle was 3 hours ago and she had no idea if she was even alive at this point.

Eve swallowed. Nope. Thinking about that will definitely make her throw up.

For now she opted to just shift herself into just the right position up against the wall without her back screaming at her in protest, and watch. Of course, there wasn’t much to watch from where she was chained to the corner of a stuffy stone basement that was below freezing in temperature, but Eve has always been smarter than she looked.

For example, every 2 minutes she could hear faint footsteps from her left- which could mean that something of importance was going on, on the other side of the wall. No, but later on she figured out that the footsteps would always alternate in direction whenever she heard them, and they would always be 2 minutes apart, every time. A patrol. She was being guarded.

They were guarding her. From… a breakout? _Did they think she was going to be able to break out?_

No, she deduced. _But they_ might _be_ _guarding someone else from breaking_ in.

With nothing left to do other than listen to the footsteps grow and fade and glare at the heavyset door in the corner, Eve almost found herself drifting off.

_Bang!_

Eve jolts up, the chains around her wrists tearing into her in turn and making her wince, and turns her attention towards the door, where the noise came from.

A small slit in the door has been flung open, smacking against the rusty metal which is what caused the noise. A pair of unsettling eyes appear from the dark and glance around before landing on her. She stiffens out of pure instinct, and the eyes linger there for a second longer before they step back and the flap is slammed shut.

Muffled conversation outside, and then finally, Eve is granted the permission to see another person, coming in the form of a woman, maybe a little bit older than she, sauntering through the door as it creaked on its hinges as though introducing her.

Smiling, maybe meant to put her at ease but only making Eve more nauseous, the woman waved behind her and the door was closed by the faceless people that Eve had assigned the footsteps outside her wall to.

“Eve Polastri,” the woman finally speaks. Eve could not quite place her accent- European, definitely. “How honored to finally meet you. I have heard your name quite a number of times.”

Gritting her teeth, Eve said nothing. The woman didn’t seem to mind all that much. “My name is Hélène,” she shrugs, “we have been keeping an eye on you and our little assassin. For some time now.”

Hélène? _it was a very toxic workplace_ Hélène? Eve was suddenly on edge, narrowing her eyes at the woman standing before her.

“You…haven’t killed me yet, haven’t- done anything,” Eve starts, cautiously. Hélène shrugs again noncommittally, glancing around the room once.

“You have not been our…center of focus recently.”

Eve presses her lips together, nods after a moment. “Where is she?” she asks curtly.

Hélène grins at that, something that settles deep in Eve’s stomach and a sight she will probably not be able to rid herself of for a while. “You will see her.” Pauses. “Well, she will see _you_. Soon enough,” she says, “but first I would like to see what we can get from you.”

Eve scoffs. “Not a ransom, that’s for sure. I’ve been fired more than a few times…not sure if I even have my job at the moment.”  
  


Something glints in Hélène’s eyes at that, but she says nothing about it. ” You are MI6, yes?”

Eve says nothing. Hélène takes a long look at her and sighs.

“You are thinking of her.”

Eve looks down, glaring at the floor.

“She is not loyal to you. We own her, she… we are all she knows,” Hélène says and Eve lifts her head to meet her eyes again.

“I have been hearing a _lot_ about what people think Villanelle knows recently.” She spits out. A smile simply tugs at Hélène’s lips once more, unfazed. She looks away.

“Yes, well...”

A knock at the door behind them seems to startle them both, Hélène definitely hiding it better. It’s one of the guards, looking to Hélène expectantly. She hums, like remembering something she had forgotten, and turns back to Eve. “I have been wanting to try this out for a bit.”

Again, Eve says nothing. On the inside, however, her fight or flight response was going off like alarms in her head.

Two more guards enter the room and grab her arms, hoisting her to her feet.

“You know, I wanted to kill you first,” Hélène says, turning her head towards the door as a third person enters, in a white lab coat and holding a syringe. _What the fuck?_

She continues, “but she wouldn’t stop asking about you. I figured we could play around with that a little before the fun is over.”

Eve still did not speak, this time because her throat had gone dry. As the man in the coat drew closer, the two guards beside Eve tightened their grip on her arms and pushed her back against the wall, holding her there. Eve frantically looked around, but this room was empty, and she was incapacitated.

“Originally, this _was_ meant to kill you,” Hélène drawls out, as the doctor grabs Eve’s arm and the two guards help hold her still against the wall. “But I’ve discovered that just enough won’t do the job- instead it will cause a sort of, flaccid paralysis,” she waved around, seemingly reciting words she had been told by whoever’s job that was.

“You’ll recover, of course- so I can have the satisfaction of finishing the job properly, but- let’s see how this one plays out.”

As the doctor zeroes in on a certain spot on Eve’s arm, that’s- _that’s_ when she begins to struggle. It’s like her mind hadn’t caught up to her at that point, she was so focused on what Hélène was saying, on-

_She wouldn’t stop asking about you._

Villanelle was alive, at least. That one thought was the only thing bringing Eve comfort now as the needle pricked her skin and whatever Hélène’s minions had concocted was injected into her bloodstream. It was the only thing that kept her mind from shutting down as the rest of her limbs suddenly grew weak, sinking to the floor when the guards finally released her. By the time Hélène squatted down to look Eve in the eye she could hardly move.

“Isn’t this fun?” she chuckled. “You will be aware of everything that’s about to go on. You just won’t be able to do anything about it.” Lifting a hand, the original guard at the door took out a gun. Eve’s blood ran cold, but he instead lifted it above his head and fired off a shot, leaving her ears ringing. She could only barely hear Hélène go “Come on then,” before she was being dragged out of the room, unable to move anything except for her eyes, being taken god knows where.

* * *

Villanelle was a lot of things, at the moment.

Bored, like she always is. Bored that the two guards in the corner of the office she was seated in wouldn’t so much as spare a glance in her direction, even with all the attempts she had made. Bored that the third guard seated across from her, no desk in between them, wouldn’t _stop_ staring at her.

She tilts her head at him. “Want to play footsies?” she teases, sticking one foot out towards him.

Course, she couldn’t move much else, what with the restrains she had on her arms practically molding her to the chair.

He did not want to play footsies. Villanelle frowned, tilting her head back and sighing. “You are so boring.”

She looks at him for a moment, then cocks her head to the side. “What do you get paid? Hmm? To work here. Is it a lot?”

Nothing.

“Oh, I see,” Villanelle lowers her voice as she squeaks the old wooden chair forward and leans over. “Is it in _sex_?”

Sparks break out in her vision as the guard suddenly darts forward and clocks her in the nose, sending her chair backwards. She hits the ground and all the air leaves her.

“Ohh, that was not very nice,” she manages to whisper out, strained.

Luckily, one of the guards on post felt at least an ounce of sympathy for her, sprawled on her back like a turtle, and walks over to where they are seated. Lifting up her chair, Villanelle nods at the man. “Thank you, kind sir,” she goes, mimicking a child in a British accent.

Once the guard is back at his post, Villanelle turns back to Mr. Not Being Paid in Sex. “Are you going to apologise?” she asks, raising her eyebrows.

He didn’t answer.

“Typical,” Villanelle glowers, and glances at the room she’d been seated in just 3 hours prior.

It’s a chic looking office, though underground she notes, citing the lack of windows. Either underground or just very secret. The floors are hardwood, as is the chair she is in. Maybe if she tried hard enough she could splinter it in half. There’s a desk to her left, a wide, rosewood executive desk. She knew who sat behind it. She knew who had taken them.

And, who else but the woman who just so happened to stride into the room at that very same moment.

“Speak of the horrible, terrible woman who has taken me hostage.”

Hélène just smiled. “You know why you are here, Villanelle.”

  
She walks over to the man opposite Villanelle and dismisses him with a wave of her hand, sitting down in his place.

“He is not very fun, you know,” Villanelle nods in the retreating guard’s direction. “Not really into games.”

Hélène’s expression hardens as soon as she sits. “Yes, well what we are doing here is not a game.”

  
Nodding, Villanelle leans back in her chair. “Sure. No games. Where is she?” 

Hélène chuckles, looking down. “Villanelle- “

“You said no games.” Villanelle interrupts. “Where. Is she?”

Biting her lip and sighing, Hélène shakes her head. “That is not the issue. The issue is what you two are doing is not ideal for each side.”

“Side?” Villanelle questions, feigning bewilderment. “You’re trying to tell me there are sides now? Bullshit. Bull shit, Hélène you- “

“ _I_ am telling you that what you need to do right now to avoid me blowing your head off right this second is to shut up and listen.

Villanelle grimaced but resigned from speaking for now.

Hélène takes a deep breath and settles a glare on Villanelle, folding her arms and settling back in her chair. “Why did you have to run away, Villanelle? You were our most prized asset, our top assassin, you- you could have done much more, had you not been busy playing cat and mouse with this, this washed up MI5 agent.” She gestures around.

“Come back. Come back to us, and we will give you everything you’ve wanted and more.”

  
“Like you promoted me to Keeper?” Villanelle spits out. “You are so full of shit.”  
  


“There were…complications,” Helene explains, unfazed.

“Things are different now. You come back; we will run this show. I will have you by my side. _You_ can give orders, you can do whatever you want, Villanelle you are so valuable to us. What use are you to _her_?”

  
Villanelle did not say anything for a moment. She turned her head to glance at the guards posted by the door, calculating in her head just how long it would take for her to snatch the pen out of the pocket of the one and stab it into the eye of the other.

“I want to see her.”

“What?”

Villanelle whips her head back to Hélène, glaring daggers now. “I want. To see her.”

Hélène just shakes her head again sadly. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Oksana- “

“You do _not_ get to call me that. I want to see her.”

Uncrossing her arms, Hélène looks down. “We are not getting anywhere. Fine. I will pay a visit to your agent,” she sighs, standing up.

Looking down at Villanelle, she darkens her tone. “But you are going to wish you never asked me that.”

_And she’s gone._

The anti-footsies guard assumes his place in the chair Hélène had previously occupied.

“Great,” Villanelle groans. “I am assuming you still do not want to speak to me?”

He is silent.

“Mhm. Fucking bullshit,” she murmurs, looking down and scrunching up her nose.

A few minutes pass, leaving Villanelle alone with her thoughts once more. She wanted to call Hélène out on her bluff, but truthfully, Villanelle was sweating bullets thinking about the woman’s last words to her.

She would not kill Eve. She wouldn’t. It would make Villanelle unattainable, yes? Eve is…off limits. Just how she was not allowed to kill Niko. Right?

Villanelle fidgets in her seat. “Hey. Can you scratch my nose for me? I would, but- “

_BANG!_

Instantly, Villanelle is on high alert. That _was_ a gunshot, no doubt.

And it _was_ in the direction Hélène left, no doubt.

  
Swallowing her fear, she looked towards the guard at the door, the one who picked her up. “Coincidence?” she guessed. He looked away.

A couple seconds had passed, and Villanelle, bouncing her leg and drumming her fingers on the wood of her chair, was scared. She did not get scared. But right now, frankly, she was terrified. She had no idea what Hélène could have just done.

Unfortunately, her answer came just a few moments later.

  
  
She had no time to process what was going on before two guards came in dragging something behind them and threw whatever they had down a few feet from where Villanelle was sitting.

  
Villanelle blinked. Opened her mouth. Closed it.

Hélène took this moment to appear in the doorframe, smoking gun in her hand at her side. Smirked at Villanelle, gauging her reaction.

Eve. _Eve_.

  
  
A small whimper involuntarily escaped Villanelle’s throat, before she squeezed her eyes shut. She lowed her head as far as it could go. Took a deep breath.

Opened her eyes. Lifted her head.

  
Eve was there. On the ground, motionless, facing away from her.

The reality of the situation suddenly crashed down on Villanelle’s shoulders. Her feet scrambled for purchase across the hardwood floor as she tried to back away from whatever Hélène had just done.

  
  
_Eve_.

Villanelle suddenly couldn’t do anything. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t breathe. Eve was there.

Eve was dead.

Villanelle couldn’t do anything else.

  
So, she screamed.

A pained, animalistic noise crawling out of her throat, sobbing, Villanelle screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did this instead of doing my homework


	4. where do you propose your home is?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys smirking emoji this is the part where i insert my huge apology for making anyone who was waiting wait a whole 2 weeks OOPS  
> **  
> long story short i am failing trig but its ok <3 hope u like this

45 minutes had passed, and Villanelle hadn’t spoken one word.

The last words she uttered aloud were a meek “Coincidence?” to the guard stationed then at her left. After that, she had screamed, and then fell silent, as her world did around her.

Villanelle felt cold. Worse than she had ever felt. The drumming of her fingers on the wood of the chair turned into digging her fingernails into the wood, wincing when it chipped and drew blood from her fingertips.

Hélène was still standing in the doorway. Eve had been taken away shortly after she was presented, the body-

The _body_.

Villanelle swallowed and closed her eyes. Her body suddenly jerked of its own accord and she stifled another sob threatening to crawl out of her throat. She’d never get to see Eve’s face again. She never even got to see it when her body was thrown at Villanelle’s feet. She’d never get to see her face, the smile she only got to see once, on the bridge just the night before. Eve, the stubborn MI5 agent who never gave up on her hunch about an experienced assassin evading the authorities. Eve, who hunted her across the world for a moment with Villanelle in her Paris apartment. The moment that at the time, ended badly, but later only cemented the two women’s feelings towards one another.

Eve, who told Villanelle she didn’t know what love means.

Eve, who kissed her on the bus a few months later.

_That’s not fair_ , she thought. _That’s not fair at all_. Why is Eve the one who dies? Why not her, for almost a decade of murdering people, why isn’t she the one who gets the consequence of death?

_Oh._

_Oh, this_ is _the consequence_.

  
_“I am gonna find the thing you care about, and I am gonna kill it.”_

_Fuck._

Footsteps neared Villanelle’s chair, muffled in her ears from the overwhelming anguish she was experiencing. Out of the corner of her eye she manages to spot Hélène taking a seat across from her once more, the circumstances for the conversation having changed.

 _  
_“Villanelle.”

Villanelle hums noncommittally. Usually she wouldn’t even dignify Hélène with a response, but her whole body seems to be on autopilot at the moment.

“You don’t have a reason to leave anymore, Oksana. You are more useful here than you would be to anyone else.”

Is that all she’s meant to be? Useful? Hélène would have killed her by now had she thought Villanelle was no longer capable. She didn’t feel capable right now. She felt useless. Cuffed down to a dingy chair and being forced to watch the execution of her…of Eve, Villanelle felt totally, utterly useless.

Would Eve had thrown her out if she were useless to her?

Hélène makes a face at her, lips downturning. “We can…forget this happened. You can pick up where you left off. Do you know how much that should mean to you?” Hélène nods towards the guards in the room. “They are replaceable. Easy. They are hired to fulfill a purpose, as we all are- and when they are no longer able to fulfill that purpose, they are disposed of. But, you, Oksana, are more than that.” She leans back. “To me, at least. I…cannot afford letting you go, Oksana. You are the best of the best,” she sighs, looking back at Villanelle.

After a few moments of silence, Hélène suddenly leans forward, producing a key from her pocket, and unlocking Villanelle’s cuffs in one swift move. They clatter to the ground and Hélène leans back again, searching the young assassin’s face, daring her to make a move.

Villanelle blinks a few times, slowly, and lifts her head. She wants to kill her. She wants to jump out of the chair right now, grab Hélène and wring her neck. But she can’t. Even free from the cuffs, her limbs feel like lead. She manages to throw a weak glare Hélène’s way but not much more. The older woman nods thoughtfully. “You will be okay soon. I did not want to have to hurt you like that, but it was necessary.” She rests her elbows on her knees and clasps her hands together. “You never meant anything to her. She would have turned you away from your potential- not for your sake. For _their_ sake. There _are_ still sides here, Oksana. Make sure you remember who is where.”

Villanelle closed her eyes and sighed, mildly surprised she’d kept her breathing under control this long. But, after all, she wasn’t really reacting to anything Hélène was saying anymore. She felt empty, like Hélène could order a gun to her head right now and she could care less who pulled the trigger.

Hélène gestures around them. “You are home, Villanell-“

“ _Bullshit_ ,” Villanelle snapped. Hélène falters. Villanelle grits her teeth and continues, “This had never felt like home to me.” She nods stiffly to their surroundings.

“Really,” almost immediately recovering from the younger woman’s outburst, Hélène smiles thinly. “-and, Oksana, where _do_ you propose your home is?”

“ _Dead_.” She spits, her voice cracking slightly.

Tears threaten to spill over Villanelle’s cheeks but she refuses to wipe them away, rooted to the spot.

Hélène sighs, and opens her mouth, but a guard appears at the door. He is disheveled and panting, seemingly having run all the way here. Hélène goes to wave him over, and-

“MI-“ is all he manages to shout before Villanelle hears a _BANG_ from somewhere behind the man and he is suddenly on the ground.

* * *

Eve is pissed. _Beyond_ pissed.

They had dragged her out of her cell, paralyzed, and threw her down onto the floor. At first, she didn’t know what had been going on, before she heard a short gasp from behind her.   
  
_Villanelle_?

And a short moment later, Villanelle screamed. It was the worst noise Eve had ever heard, the anguish in her voice and the struggle to breath afterwards. She’d be lying if she said she tried everything to will herself to turn over, to do something to let Villanelle know she was okay. But this was it. This was Hélène’s master plan. Kill Eve and present her to the one person who she was holding back.

Now, she was back in another cell, no doubt the furthest away from Villanelle as they could get her. And she was _pissed_.

“This is such bullshit,” she groans out loud to the empty room around her. It comes out slurred, and she works her jaw around more to try to shake off the effects of whatever Hélène had given her. She could still barely move, so for now she focused on her breathing to make sure she wasn’t _actually_ dying.

She needs to get back to Villanelle. That was virtually her only thought at this moment. That, and don’t die.

There are still so many things she never told her. She never apologised for Paris. Villanelle never apologised for Rome. In a way, Eve knew neither of them were really sorry it happened.

Just that it had to hurt so bad.

She never got to tell Villanelle she loved her. Because she did, really. At least in the twisted way their relationship was, she loved Villanelle- but the last words she had spoken to her about love was telling her she didn’t understand what it was.

She didn’t know what Villanelle had dreamt of last night. She’s not sure if Villanelle would ever have told her otherwise, but now that they’re both most likely to be killed, Eve finds herself regretting everything she never said to the former assassin.

  
There’s a guard stationed on the other side of the door of this cell. Eve can hear him, pacing. Managing to prop herself sitting on the back wall, Eve thinks about, well, how she will die. It’s doubtful they’ll be saved now.

Unless…

Kenny. Eve bolts up into a sitting position as fast as she can as she remembers.

She called Kenny right before they were taken. Said they were coming over to stay for a bit. They never showed up. Kenny- Kenny who’s mom was-

Suddenly Eve hears a muffled _POP_ from behind the door and the door swings open, there standing the woman Eve was just thinking about.

Momentarily stunned, Eve stares and manages to stutter out a,

“H-hi, Carolyn.”

“Hello Eve. Unfortunately I have to clean up another one of your and Villanelle’s messes. Do you happen to know where she is?”

* * *

  
After Eve quickly catches up Carolyn to speed, she nods thoughtfully. Eve strains her neck to look over Carolyn’s shoulder and out to the hallway. “Are there others?”

“Of course there are others, I’m not stupid, Eve. We need to take you to our doctor, though. Come along,” Carolyn starts back towards the door.

“W-wait. Villanelle is still somewhere. I want to see her.”

Carolyn turns back. “There are people on it. Eve, you are telling me you were injected with something from an international crime boss and you have no idea what it is. You are coming with me to see the doctor.”

Eve blinks for a moment, racking her brain, but sighs and relents. Finding moving still difficult, though, she awkwardly reaches her arms out to Carolyn still at the door. The older woman sighs and moves to sling Eve’s arm around her shoulders so she can drag her out of the cell.

As she’s moved over to a group of waiting agents, she can only hope Villanelle is okay.

* * *

Villanelle, Hélène, and the 2 guards in the room had no time to react before the messenger in the doorway was dead. After that, they had barely enough time to react before the room was stormed with men and women, armored and armed. They took out the door guards with no effort, and Villanelle was almost sad about the nice guard who picked her up who now had a hole in his head.

Hélène was immediately grabbed and restrained. She showed no emotion, other than mild amusement, really. Maybe she was even a little bit impressed, as she is guided out of the room.  
  


Villanelle found she really didn’t care at the moment. She hadn’t really processed what was going on yet. Not until two people showed up at the door and two pairs of eyes found Villanelle immediately.

  
  
“Villanelle!” Elena gasps, and moves towards where she’s seated. “Are you…hurt?” Kenny follows awkwardly behind her, not really sure who he’s supposed to be looking at, but avoiding making eye contact with Villanelle in particular. It didn’t really matter. She wasn’t looking at him anyways.

With no response, no witty remark, though, Kenny looked a little bit more concerned. “Where’s Eve?” he spoke up.

Villanelle said nothing. She could see Kenny turn pale at her lack of response and Elena go rigid. “No…she’s not-“ Elena starts.

“You two are…together.” Villanelle states. Kenny blushes and looks away again, but Elena just looks confused. “Yes?”

Villanelle nods. “Do…not take your eyes off one another.” And falls silent again.

Elena grits her teeth, and pushes through the guards towards the door, leaving Villanelle and Kenny alone.

“Is she…” Kenny starts, but puts a hand to his mouth before he can finish. Villanelle closes her eyes and chokes back a sob. That’s all the conformation Kenny needed. In a blind attempt at comfort, he reaches out and puts his hand on Villanelle’s arm without thinking. She stiffens at first, but before he can regret his mistake, she takes her other hand and closes it over his. Both of them sit there for a moment.  
  
Elena hasn’t returned.   
  
Eventually, they are both escorted out by two guards. “They’re gonna take care of us, okay?” Kenny says. “We’ll be okay.”

Villanelle doesn’t really believe him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA i make you wait 2 weeks and then dont even have them reunite...i am ready to be burned at the stake now  
> **  
> also sorry the ending is rushed its 1 am and i wanted to give u guys something OH ALSOOOOOO!!!!! you should follow my editing acc on ig @ejexe i just posted a villaneve edit and i think its pretty sexy xoxo


	5. this is for killing me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight tw// mention of suicide but it's very brief  
> **  
> hi guys im back :) this was supposed to be 2 chapters but i decided whatever  
> **  
> also we just hit the 10k mark on this fic helll yeahhh

Eve and Carolyn sit awkwardly in the back of one of MI6’s vans in the parking lot.

Apparently Hélène had been keeping her in a basement in one of her many mansions, a bonus of being a particularly high ranking criminal. After Eve and Villanelle hadn’t shown to Kenny and Elena’s house, Carolyn was alerted and they all concluded the Twelve had something to do with it. Carolyn remembered Villanelle talking about her old boss before Eve ran off during her confrontation with Paul. And of course, she had connections. Connections that had led her to Hélène’s mansion, and that led her to Villanelle and Hélène herself. She had brushed past them, leaving Kenny and Elena (Elena who insisted on coming, and Kenny being too worried to let her go alone) to check on her.

**

Eve slumps against the wall of the black van, a blanket draped over her shoulders. It’d been concluded there were no lasting effects on her, just that she might be dizzy for the next 24 hours or so. Seems like Hélène’s plan was just for show after all. Absentmindedly, she wondered where Hélène was. At this point, MI6 would have probably caught up to her, if she hadn’t escaped.

And if they got to Hélène, Villanelle might have been with her.

Eve felt like she hadn’t seen Villanelle in forever, though it’d been just shy of a day. Villanelle thought she was dead. When Hélène had paralyzed her and dragged her to see her…partner? Coworker? Whatever, Eve had felt- dread. She wasn’t sure if Villanelle was smart enough to know that Hélène was playing a trick, but then again- the way she screamed.

Eve twitched her nose, pulling the blanket around her shoulders tighter. She’d never heard that from Villanelle. It was…terrifying, to say the least.

She wanted nothing more in that moment than to will her body to turn around, to let her know that _hey, it’s Eve! I’m okay! Well, I’m not okay because I’ve been injected with a paralyzing agent with unknown lasting effects but otherwise, I’m okay!_

Sparing a glance over at Carolyn, Eve found the older woman in deep conversation with a fellow colleague. There were more people here than Eve thought, but apparently they had deemed it safe enough to stick around, at least for a bit, in the front lot of a criminal’s estate. Eve was honestly a little surprised Carolyn had come to save them. Being probable as it was that Kenny had begged for their rescue, it was shocking that MI6 would risk it for something like this.

  
Carolyn catches Eve’s eye, noticing her staring off. “Eve. How are you feeling?” she asks.

Eve shrugs. “Fine. More relieved now that the doctor’s cleared me,” she smiles halfheartedly. Carolyn nods back. “Well then, shall we discuss what to do next?” the other woman offers, flipping through a few papers that the agent next to her had handed her.

“Can I-” Eve starts.

“EVE!”

Eve turns and sees Elena pushing through a group of people. She’s out of breath by the time she reaches her, but still pulls her into a hug as best she can. “Eve, oh my god, you’re not- Oh god,” she sighs, hugging Eve tighter.

“Elena? When did you-“

Elena pulls back. “I came here as fast I could, I mean- I haven’t heard from you in so long, and then you call Ken and ask him if you and Villanelle could- and oh god, Villanelle-“  
  
“What about her?” Eve cuts her off.

Elena grips Eve by the shoulders. “Me and Kenny! We were just with her! She said you were dead, Eve, well she didn’t say it because she wasn’t really saying much of anything, and, oh my god I am so glad you’re alive,” and just like that Eve is in another bone crushing hug.  
  
From where she is in Elena’s arms, Eve cranes her head to look at Carolyn.

“Carolyn, I need to see her, _please_. She- “

“Thinks you’re dead, yes.” Carolyn finishes, and removes her glasses. “Well, at the moment we are transferring her to a safe house, soon after that-”

_A safe house?_

“A safe house?”  
  


“-yes, Eve, a safe house. You seem to forget often that an entire chain of command is after you two.”

Eve frowns, and Elena finally lets her free from her hug. “Aren’t you gonna tell her I’m alive?” she asks, growing concerned. Why would they keep her away from Villanelle on purpose?

Pursing her lips together, Carolyn seems to mull the question over for a moment. “We haven’t really gotten around to it.”

_That’s…weird, coming from Carolyn_. She’s usually extremely straightforward, blunt. Not one to ponder situations and their outcomes, or keep secrets without the other party knowing exactly why. Eve catches Elena looking at her, equally confused.

“Carolyn, what is this about?”

“Well Eve, _you_ seem to be in association with the top assassin of an extremely secretive organization. As such, we could be on the receiving end of some well-kept answers.”

“What does this have to do with me seeing her?”  
  


Carolyn narrows her eyes. “We’re simply trying to find out if there’s anything she’d been withholding- without anything to cloud her judgement. She might be more willing now to give up information that would put her life in danger otherwise.”

_What? She-_

Eve could have sworn she felt her jaw drop to the ground.

“You want her to think I’m dead because you think _I’m_ the reason she wants to keep living? Carolyn, you’re asking her for information _now_ because you think she’s too-too what, _suicidal_ to care what the information would do to her?!” she cries out, practically fuming.

  
Carolyn remains unfazed. “It’s simply an interrogation tactic, Eve. You should get some rest.” And before Eve could open her mouth to reply, Carolyn has stood up and walked off in the direction of a group of agents huddled together.

Elena throws Eve an apologetic smile, mouths “talk later” and hurries to catch up with Carolyn.

Eve sits in silence for a few moments, arms crossed and seething, before she sees the agent Carolyn was talking to before, still perched awkwardly next to the empty spot the woman had occupied. “Hi,” she whispers.

  
“Hi.” Eve quips. “Where’s Hélène?”

**

As it turns out, Hélène has not escaped- nor is she dead. Yet. Eve finds that out from bouncing around between the scattered agents as they pack up and get ready to leave.

Carolyn finds her among the masses, waving her over and showing her the car they’ll be taking, back to a forward headquarters of MI6 (or wherever Carolyn is working now), Eve assumes.

“I assume you want to know where Hélène is?” Carolyn asks.

“I asked a few of the guys around here. They told me she’s being held for interrogation but none of them knew where.”

“Yes well, that _is_ highly classified information.” Carolyn looks out the window of the van they’re in. They’re both in the backseats, being driven by faceless agents following orders.

  
“…we’re heading there now.”

“Now?” Eve asks, shocked. They’re going to see Hélène? So soon? For what reason?

“They’re getting all they can out of her at the moment. It’s only common sense to assume once she’s done talking to us, she really is done talking to us. After that, well…”

She leaves the words unspoken, but Eve understands what was left unsaid. Hélène knows what she’s doing. Furthermore, she knows exactly what _not_ to do. And that is to compromise whoever she’s working with, or for. Eve knows well that Hélène will be ready to die with however much information she can withheld.

“So, we don’t need her anymore.”

“Precisely, Eve.”

**

Eve _really_ wanted to kill Hélène.

They’ve arrived at the forward headquarters. Sighing, Eve opens the door to the car and gets out. As Carolyn walks her into the building, she absentmindedly rings her hands, soothing the fading soreness that the cuffs she’d been restrained with earlier today had left. Two agents greeted them at the door and nodded Carolyn in.

“So, I-I mean, Carolyn, after we- you know, deal with Hélène…when do you think I can-“

  
Carolyn suddenly turns around from where she was walking in front of Eve to face her, stopping Eve in her tracks. “Eve, I know you want to see Villanelle again, but we don’t know what she does and doesn’t know. As much as I know you hate it, her vulnerability right now is useful to us.”

“…I really don’t think she knows as much as you think she does.”

  
Carolyn doesn’t respond to that, just turns back around and strides down one of the many twisting and turning hallways of this bunker-esque building. Eve has to hurry to catch up.

Hélène’s being held in an interrogation room. Typical. Even if she’s a dangerous criminal with no human morals, MI6 will still follow typical protocol in questioning. Carolyn opens the door for her, and Eve slinks in, surveying the setup. They’re on the other side of the glass, of course. While Hélène is sitting down in the actual interrogation room, alone, there are two agents in here with them, rookies by the looks of it, whispering to eachother.

“So?” Eve asks.

“So. I’ve heard we’ve gotten all we can.” Carolyn offers. It’s permission. Eve nods.

“Is it okay…to do it here?”

  
Carolyn shrugs. “I don’t suppose it matters. No one knows who she is, so nobody’s going to come looking.”

The two move to stand in front of the two-way glass mirror, whilst Eve overhears the two agents arguing behind them over how they should be treating their new prisoner.

“Listen, she’s still a person! We treat people with respect here!” one of them cries.

“You _can’t_ be serious,” the other girl deadpans.

  
“I’m absolutely serious! Wouldn’t you want to be respected if that was you?”

“Oh well with all due _respect_ , Ella, I’m not the sociopathic _murderer_ sitting in there who’s probably killed more people that you can imagine!”

“That-“

“Actually, she most likely asks other people to do the killing.”

Two pairs of eyes dart to Eve. She stumbles awkwardly, “I mean, well, she’s like their boss. She probably doesn’t like getting her hands dirty, so she, you know…yeah.”

Carolyn places a reassuring hand on her shoulder and slips something into her hand.

  
“Well, even if that’s true, it’s not like we have to be rash!” the first girl, “Ella”, continues, now looking towards Eve. “I mean what are you going to do to her?”

  
Eve grimaces, and sucks in a breath between her teeth. Turns over the gun she got from Carolyn in her hands. “Well, not something you’re gonna like, that’s for sure.”

**

Hélène’s facing the other way when Eve enters the room. The two agents have left the room Carolyn is in, knowing what’s about to go down they’d rather be far away from the drama.

Eve stands in the doorway, silent.

“Are you here to ask more questions?” she hears. Hélène sounds slightly amused, but honestly a bit annoyed. When Eve doesn’t answer, she sighs. “New tactic? MI6 really is gutless-“

The cool metal of a barrel is suddenly pressed against her neck. Hélène pauses, but doesn’t freeze up. “Hm? Is this Carolyn, come to finish me off?”

“She wishes.”

Hélène does stiffen for a second at that, falters. “I see you’ve recovered well?”

Eve pushes the gun slightly forward still. “Mhm,” she offers up, tantalizing.

When neither of them speak again for a few moments, Eve decides to let her final moments drag out a bit longer. She pulls the gun back and swings around to sit across from Hélène.

Hélène has her eyes on Eve as soon as she’s within her vision, and follows her all the way to the seat.

“Does she know?”

Eve narrows her eyes. “No. But she will.”

Hélène raises her eyebrows but nods, looking down at the table between them. “She really likes you,” she huffs, sounding almost surprised.

Eve doesn’t answer to that. She looks down as well, at her hands on the table, at the gun in her right hand. Hélène sees her looking at it, and when Eve looks back up, she’s staring at her.

“You’re not here to question me.” Not a question. Hélène knows why Eve is here.

Eve stares at Hélène for a second, and then nods. Once. “Yeah.”

She raises the gun up again, almost lazily and points it at Hélène once more.

“You are so _fucking_ mean.”

Hélène laughs out loud, and a genuine smile covers her face. “What a nice thing to say to a dead woman.”

  
Eve chuckles too, but she can’t bring herself to smile. Puts her finger on the trigger.

“Yeah. This is for killing me, you bitch.”

**

It’s not a dramatic death. Nor a dignified one. Hélène deserved neither of those things, and Eve quickly exited the interrogation room before she even heard Hélène’s body hit the floor.

Carolyn is waiting outside for her. She almost looks bored, but fixes Eve with a stare and asks her, “Are you quite alright, Eve?”

Eve just looks at her. Waiting.

And then sprints out the door.

* * *

“Can you _please_ stop bothering me?” Villanelle whines.

The agent across from her huffs and shuffles through the papers she has in front of her. Villanelle knows she isn’t actually doing anything with them, just trying to look more important than she is.  
  
They’re in a safe house, somewhere- Villanelle could care less. Usually she would have known exactly where she was, fixed on her surroundings and committing everything to memory for later- yet, now she honestly couldn’t bring herself to care.

This agent has been trying to talk to her for the past hour and a half, but most of the questions are either too confusing for her to understand, or about parts of the Twelve she literally had no idea existed. Kenny is in the corner of the room watching the conversation, and fixes Villanelle with an apologetic smile. Surprisingly, Villanelle finds herself returning it.

“Look,” Villanelle says, leaning forward. “I have no idea what you are talking about. As you may know,” she puts a hand over her chest mockingly, “I am in a lot of pain at the moment. Please _please_ leave me alone unless you want me to jump out the back window there.”

It’s tough, but Villanelle has managed to scrape back some of her old persona. It hurts, really bad, but she can’t let anyone else around her know how much this is affecting her. The amount of vulnerability she’d shown for Elena and Kenny back at Hélène’s mansion alone made her want to barf.

The agent sighs, and gets up. “We’ll continue this later.” She starts packing up her things at that. Villanelle smiles and leans back.

As the agent is gathering things, Kenny comes over and sits down. He’s been with Villanelle since they saw eachother back there, even asked to come along with the ride to the safehouse. As much as Villanelle didn’t want more people on her back, deep down she appreciated that he didn’t want her to be alone.

“You know,” she starts, and he looks at her in surprise, it being the second time she’s spoken to him, ever. “-when you guys ordered that hit, Konstantin tried to tell me…” she falters for a moment, lost in thought. “…he told me I wouldn’t even remember her name in a week.”

Kenny doesn’t really know what to say to that. He wrings his hands and looks at Villanelle regretfully.

  
Villanelle laughs, though she knows she’s on the verge of tears. Kenny can hear it in her voice, too. “What a lie that was, huh?”

Kenny looks like he’s thinking over something, bites his lip, and then-

“You can still talk to her, you know.”

Villanelle raises an eyebrow.  
  
“You can, I mean. Pretend she’s still there. I’ve done it. I told- Eve- to do it, after- “

He stops. Villanelle knows what he’s talking about.  
  
“I mean…it helps.” He finishes lamely.

A few moments pass, and Villanelle looks over at the agent, who’s leaving through the front door.

“…thank you.”

Kenny lights up at that, and Villanelle almost smiles again.

Suddenly she hears muffled commotion outside. She looks over at Kenny in amusement. “You think she blew her tire out?” But when she looks over at him, Kenny seems confused too. Villanelle’s façade drops. 

She gets up, slowly, and heads to the door. Opening it, she finds the agent next to her car, talking furiously on the phone. She’s confused, for a moment, before two other black cars are turning into her driveway rather quickly. Too many doors open at once at the same time, so many people are talking at once but Villanelle can make out two voices, that-

“I told you to _wait_!”  
  
“Villanelle!”

_Huh?_

Before she has any time to turn towards the voice, someone wearing a dark coat plows into Villanelle. She looks down, and-

Black curls.

“Oh my god, Villanelle, are you alright?”

The person pulls back, cups Villanelle’s face and-

  
“Eve?”

Eve laughs, but she’s crying. Why is she crying? “I am, oh thank god. I was with Elena, she told me you-“

Villanelle’s hearing muffles. She suddenly can’t see anything except the woman in front of her, crying but she’s _smiling_ , she’s smiling like she’s happy, something Villanelle hasn’t seen since the _bridge_ because it’s-

“Eve?” Villanelle tries again, lifting her right hand to cover Eve’s own on her face. Villanelle searches Eve’s face with wide eyes, brimming with tears, for confirmation. Eve seems to just remember what exactly went down with Hélène.

“Sh-she didn’t, Hélène- she- I’m okay, Vil. It wasn’t- she-“

  
Villanelle hiccups. Once.

“Ha,” she breathes out, shocked. “HA!” Excitement covers her face suddenly as she realizes it really is _Eve_ , it’s Eve in front of her and Villanelle laughs, and now she’s crying too, and buzzing with excitement and gripping Eve by the arms and smiling so wide she might just fall apart. “I knew it! I knew it, I knew it….” Villanelle starts, but trails off looking at Eve again. She’s looking at her with soft eyes, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips and Eve is stroking her thumb over Villanelle’s cheek as she says it, taking her all in.  
  
“…no I didn’t.” tumbles out of Villanelle, and her face crumples and she’s back to almost crying. Eve just whispers, “I know,” before she’s pulling her in and hugs her and Villanelle might just die right now because Eve is here and she’s not dead and she’s in Villanelle’s arms and, wow this kind of hurts because of how Villanelle is bent over but it’s _okay_ because it’s _Eve_.

And now Eve is pulling back and looking her in the eyes and Villanelle still can’t believe it. “You’re here,” she says.

  
“Yeah,” is all Eve can offer up.

  
Villanelle swallows. “I need to make sure.”

  
Raising an eyebrow, Eve smiles. “I’m not enough for you?” she jokes.

But now Villanelle is leaning in and they’re inches apart, and she goes “You’re always enough for me.” And Eve laughs softly and she’s leaning in too.

Their noses brush and Villanelle pauses. “You’re here?”

  
Eve doesn’t respond to that but instead closes the rest of the distance and kisses her and Villanelle thinks _yeah, maybe I am dying_ , when she lets go of Eve’s arms in favor of bringing one up to bury in her hair and cup her cheek with the other.

The kiss is long, and slow. A reassurance and a promise. An _I’m here, I’m back_ , but also an _I’m not leaving again._

Eve still has both her hands cupping Villanelle’s face. She tilts her head and presses forward a little into the kiss, earning a pleased hum from Villanelle in response.

  
They stay like that for a few moments until Eve pulls back slightly, just enough to rest her forehead against Villanelle’s. Villanelle doesn’t dare open her eyes yet, wanting to stay in this moment for as long as she could.  
  
“Eve?”

They both turn at this, and see Kenny standing in the front door. “Oh my god,” Eve starts. “Elena didn’t- “

“I didn’t want to, um…interrupt,” he says, embarrassed. “But um-“

Villanelle steps back from Eve, and she shoots her a look of concern but Villanelle just smiles and gestures towards Kenny.

  
“Eve, you’re- “

“Alive.” Eve smiles. “Yeah. Turns out Hélène wasn’t really thorough with that part.”  
  


Kenny starts forward, almost jogging before he meets Eve and hugs her as well. Eve sways them back and forth slightly, looking over at Villanelle invitingly.  
  
“ _Alright_ ,” she exclaims, moving to engulf both Eve and Kenny in a hug. “My turn again.”

And the three of them stand there for a bit, completely ignoring Carolyn, who is leaning against one of the cars, having watched this entire situation unfold. She honestly had tried to stop Eve from taking one of MI6’s cars and breaking every traffic law getting here, but- There was something about the immense relief on Villanelle’s face, on _Kenny’s_ face, even- that made her stop and sit back for a moment, let them have something for themselves. She _did_ know that Villanelle would have hardly known anything- but she had held on to a small sliver of hope that she did. But, seeing this, she’s almost glad Eve listened to her gut feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hélène is dead ! Villaneve kiss !!
> 
> ps i was debating on whether or not i should have eve and villanelle kill helene together or just have one of them do it separately- i decided to let eve do it because it's kind of funny that helene "killed" eve and eve KILLED helene. also as much as villanelle is the actual hitman in this relationship her heart wouldn't be in it , and also she's trying to shy away from the whole manslaughter thing.


	6. who the hell are you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so villanelle's pretty pliant in this chapter only cuz shes still Recovering but dont worry she will get back her bravado soon :) guess where they're headed  
> **  
> SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT i. lost motivation for a hot sec

4 days have passed, and Villanelle physically refuses to leave Eve’s side. Not that she’s complaining.

After Eve’s stunt with stealing the car, Carolyn confronted her, saying, in simple terms that they should, quote, “go far away before I change my mind about having you two arrested.”

So, they’ve been staying in the safe house. Carolyn gave them until the end of the week to figure out where to go, though she’d dump them on the streets whether they had a plan by then or not. Reclining on the old couch in the safe house’s living room, Eve ponders their decisions.

***

“You could go to America.”  
  
“Ew, Kenny, I’m not going to the states unless I absolutely have to. Do you have any idea what’s going on there right now? Jesus,” she scoffs. As she does, the body that’s laid out against her mumbles and pull herself impossibly closer tucked under her chin. Eve sighs and runs a hand through Villanelle’s hair, the other laid securely on her back. She was asleep, as she had been for the past half an hour, shortly before Kenny arrived to talk with Eve about their options.  
  
“Is she okay?” Kenny asks, a hint of concern in his voice. Eve smiles at that. Villanelle had taken an unusual liking to him, bantering and joking with him in a way Eve could only describe as friendly. “She’s fine. Tired, I’d guess. She barely slept last night.”

Kenny frowns. “Another nightmare?”

Sighing, Eve runs her hand up and down Villanelle’s back to keep her settled before responding. “She’s been having them more often. I can tell. It’s like she’s afraid to go to sleep,” she remarks. “I woke up in the middle of the night and she was just laying on her side of the bed, looking at me. Like she’d been fighting to keep her eyes open. She only ended up falling back asleep because I had to talk her into it.”

Kenny tsks and runs a hand through his hair. “Seems the Hélène situation fuc-or, er…messed her up.”  
  


Eve ponders that for a moment. “I think that could be it, but she had one, the night before Hélène got us. And she _was_ acting weird when she had us meet in the ballroom in Brockley...” she frowns, resuming the gesture of rubbing Villanelle’s back, which she seemed content with, seeing she hadn’t stirred in a bit.

Clearing his throat, Kenny stood up. “I should probably, um-” he holds up his phone. “Elena will be worried.”

Eve waves him off. “Go. Be with your girlfriend.” She smiles teasingly. The tips of Kenny’s ears turn red and he spins on his foot and awkwardly shuffles out of the house.

  
“Tell her I said hi!” Eve throws in his direction before he waves a confirmation and shuts the door behind him. Moments later, Eve feels the sleeping figure on her shift a bit.  
  
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to yell.”

“’S okay,” Villanelle sleepily mumbles, blinking a few times before picking her head up to look at the door. “was that Kenny leaving?”

“Mhm,” Eve confirms. “I like how well you two are getting along.”

Villanelle scoffs. “Ew. Whatever,” she remarks, pushing herself up over Eve, her elbows basically bracketing her into the cushions. “What were you talking about?” she asks, a teasing hint to her voice. Eve blushes, given their position. “Jesus, Vil-” pushes her back, albeit gently, and Villanelle falls back onto the opposite side of the couch with an “oof.”

It’s endearing, really. Almost domestic. Eve finds her gaze lingering on the other woman in front of her, laying on top of her legs which, to be honest hurts just a little bit but she could care less.

Eve only notices how quiet she’d been when Villanelle clears her throat dramatically and she’s snapped out of her trance. “You were gonna tell me what you were talking about with Kenny,” she reminds, but Eve can see the faintest blush on her cheeks as she avoids looking directly at her.

“Mm. We were talking about where we should head next, since-“ she gestures around with one hand, “-Carolyn’s kicking us out.”

“Hm.” Villanelle hums, twitching her nose. Stretching her arms behind her back, she looks around the room. “We could…” a sad smile tugs at her lips. “No Alaska, right?” she looks to Eve, just to be sure. She huffs in response, but smiles back. “Probably not.”

Rome felt like forever ago to Eve, now. She wondered if Villanelle really planned to take them to Alaska. She seemed so…happy, at the time. Eve was certain she saw Villanelle’s façade slip for a moment- the only reason being because she knew exactly the moment her walls went back up.

Right before she took a bullet and thrown in hospital for the next 3 months.

  
Villanelle notices Eve’s pause. She visibly cringes at herself for bringing up the subject. “Eve…I-“

“It’s okay,” she says, dismissively, maneuvering her legs out from under Villanelle’s and setting them on the floor to sit normally.  
  


“No, Eve. Please.” Villanelle sits up and reaches out to put a hand on Eve’s arm, but pauses when she turns her head to look her in the eyes. Villanelle gulps. “I-“ she tries again.

“Villanelle…” Eve softly pleads. _I really can’t be talking about this right now._ “It’s alright. I recovered, and-“

“It’s not about that, Eve-“

“-and listen, I know you feel bad, but-“

  
  
“-I’m sorry about Raymond!”

Eve blinks. Raymond?

Oh. “Oh.”

Villanelle, seemingly pained, continues. “I..I should not have- I did not mean to manipulate you into killing him.” She takes a deep breath. “I thought you would… I don’t know I- I thought _you_ would have done it because _I_ would have done it.”

  
“We aren’t the same, Villanelle.”

  
  
Villanelle swallows. “I thought we might have been.” She chokes out, looking down.

  
“Vil-“

  
“I thought you might have-“ Villanelle looks up at the ceiling. “I thought you were…”

_I thought you were special._

The last words Villanelle had spoken to her before she turned away. The next words tumble out of Eve before she could stop them.

  
“Sorry to disappoint.”

Villanelle twitches. “Don’t do that to me, Eve, don’t-“ she sighs heavily.

…

“Villanelle?”

“Hm.”

“Do you know how long I was in hospital after Rome?”

“ _God_ , Eve, I don’t know,” Villanelle spits out, shaking her head exasperatedly.

“3 months and 14 days.” Eve tries to keep her voice calm. Villanelle throws her hands up.

“Great. I put you in hospital and I’m the bad guy and you-“

“I know exactly how long I was there because I thought of you every day.”

Silence.

  
“Every day, when I was laying in my bed, and a nurse would come in to check on me I’d think, ‘what if it were you?’” Eve shook her head. “Even after what happened, I…I think sometimes I’d wish it _was_.”

Eve lets her words settle in the air for a moment. She doesn’t know what else to say.

“God, Eve, that is so stupid.” Villanelle breathes out, shaking her head slightly.

Lightly, Eve laughs. “I know,” she responds, echoing their conversation on the bridge.

She could tell Villanelle really was sorry. Or as sorry as she thought she could be, about Rome. She appreciated that the younger woman was trying.

  
“I think…I think we were both mad. I... wasn’t thinking straight, I mean- Carolyn had betrayed us,” Eve reasons.  
  
“And you had just killed a guy.”

“And I had just killed a guy,” Eve agrees.

Villanelle purses her lips. “I was mad too. Konstantin had asked me to leave you behind.”  
  
Eve perks up. “Really?”  
  
Running a hand through her hair, Villanelle sighs, closing her eyes almost to relive the moment. “He told me you might have gone with Carolyn already. I didn’t believe him, and he told me I wasn’t family and left.”

Oh. So that’s why Villanelle had said that to him a few days ago. Throwing his words back at him, she guesses. Her heart fluttered for a moment knowing the other reason was because Villanelle would rather have stayed with her.

“I know you didn’t mean to use me like that,” Eve starts. “But I used you too. For the whole Peele operation, I treated you like a, an intern who we were gonna fire as soon as the job got done. And I am sorry for that, Villanelle. You didn’t deserve that.”

Villanelle chuckles wryly in response. “I do not blame you. The international psychopathic assassin comes to work for you, you do get as much out of it as you can.”

Shaking her head, Eve reaches a hand out to rest on Villanelle’s leg, who’s still laid out on the couch. “I’ve already told you you’re much more than that.”

Villanelle looks at her and softens immediately, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly.

Then a knock at the door jolts both of them out of their conversation. Eve immediately attempts to stand but is hit by a wave of nausea and falters. Villanelle is up and by her side in an instant, hovering in case she needs to be steadied. “Are you alright?” she asks. Shaking her head slightly, Eve sits back down. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just, whatever Hélène gave me. The doctor said it’d probably make me sick for a couple days.”

Villanelle scoffs. “Is she dead yet? Because I _really_ wanna kill her.”

  
“She’s dead alright,” Eve remarks, tilting her head back into the couch and running a hand down her face.

Turning to face Eve, Villanelle squints at her for a second. Realization washes over her face a moment later, and she opens her mouth to say something but can only laugh in disbelief. “You killed her. That’s- wow, Eve.” She’s smiling now, almost proudly at Eve.

Only for a moment though, before she remembers the last time Eve killed somebody. Instantly, her face drops. “Oh. Oh wait, Eve, are you…okay?”

Eve waves her off. “She was going to hurt us. You. We can talk later, can you go answer the door?”

The younger woman nods quickly, holding onto that promise of a later talk, and scurries away to see who’s come knocking.

The next thing Eve hears from the couch is a “Oh, hello Villanelle.” from a voice she recognizes as Carolyn, to which she hears Villanelle immediately respond “Who the hell are _you?_ ”.

Well, Villanelle definitely knew who Carolyn was, so…

And to finish her thought, the woman in question returned, trailing Villanelle who was making a beeline directly back to the couch, throwing herself back down next to Eve, almost protectively, and turning back around to glare at Carolyn.

Now Eve notices the man stationed next to her, same height, short dark hair that was naturally curly despite the attempt to tease it back. He didn’t seem nervous, but not too arrogant about holding himself- he genuinely looked curious about the situation. He had a short, trimmed beard and looked to be in his late 30s. All put together in a rather casual look for one of Carolyn’s supposed agents, sporting a white button up with a checkered blazer and dark trousers. Now she knew why Villanelle had said that at the door.

“Hi Carolyn,” she greeted her old boss, not oblivious to seeing Villanelle shift closer to her out of the corner of her eye. “Our week isn’t up. Are you here for something?”  
  
“Yes Eve, well I’m actually here to inform you that your week might be cutting short. At least by whatever this letter is telling me.”  
  
Villanelle perks up at that, cautiously. Eve puts a hand on her arm reassuringly before addressing Carolyn again. “What letter?”

  
Carolyn turns to the man next to her and he pulls something out of the inside pocket of his blazer, handing it to her but eyeing Villanelle curiously. The woman in response raises her eyebrows and tilts her head, questioning him right back.

Carolyn hands a postcard to Eve. Villanelle immediately is looking over her shoulder trying to see where it is from.

It’s from Moscow, Russia. That’s all it has on the front. Villanelle stiffens and Eve turns it over.

_Cuba. Please bring her. We can watch movies. I promise._

That’s all it says, along with a qr code in the top corner. Eve is confused for a moment, then hears Villanelle scoff behind her. “What an idiot,” she breathes out. Purses her lips, and nods. “It’s Konstantin. He made it to Cuba.”

“Why’s this from Moscow?” Eve questions.

  
“That’s where he wants us to go,” Villanelle responds, sighing. “He left _something_ there, obviously.”

“Rather, some _one_ ,” Carolyn interrupts. “We’ve already taken the liberty of checking code on the card. They’re coordinates, that trace to a detention centre located in Moscow.”

Villanelle’s eyes go wide. “He left Irina there.” She instantly responds.  
  
“Wait, Carolyn.” Eve starts, putting a hand up. “Why are you telling us this? Why didn’t you just rip up the postcard or something?”

“Well, frankly Eve, I really would like you two to get out of my hair. And...I’d like to think my friendly gesture will be paid back some day. Old friends and all that.”

Eve frowns, but lets it go for now. “And this dude?” she gestures in his direction.  
  
“Right,” Carolyn says, turning to him. “This is Rocco Kirchhof. He’s one of our field agents who’s being relocated by his case officer to an outpost near Moscow. I figure since the two of you are heading there, he can serve as an…escort, for you, just as some added protection.”

Eve can tell Villanelle already hates this plan, judging by the way she hasn’t stopped glaring at him since he came in, and he’s looking a lot more nervous now than when he set foot in the safe house.

She decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and stands up to extend a hand. “Hi, Rocco.”

He smiles and shakes her hand. “I have heard a lot about you.” He has an American accent; which Eve almost wasn’t expecting. She chuckles. “I’m not even going to bother hoping it’s all good things.”

“Ha! Good one,” he says, “It’s nice to finally hear someone that sounds like me. I was beginning to think I’d start developing the accent!”

“Well don’t count on it. I’ve been living here ever since I was 7 and it never caught on,” Eve smiles.

***  
  
They exchange a few more pleasantries before Carolyn sits them down to discuss where and when they are going. It’s decided they’re leaving tomorrow night, as soon as possible, and will stop a few places along the way, Berlin, Minsk, etc, but make a beeline to Moscow as soon as possible. Villanelle stays close to Eve the whole night, even when Carolyn and Rocco pack up and say their goodbyes.

“I don’t like him,” she decides as they go.

  
“I know, Vil.” Eve absentmindedly says as she moves around the house to clean up for their departure.

“I really don’t. He looks stupid. His accent is stupid.”

“Villanelle, I have the same accent as him.”

Villanelle looks at her with big eyes. “But Eve, you make it sound so much better!”

  
Rolling her eyes, Eve notices how late it is. “Well, we can talk about how much you hate Rocco later. I’m going to bed.”

  
“Wait!” she hears Villanelle say as she scrambles off the couch to catch up with Eve as she enters the bedroom. “Okay. We can go to bed. But I will complain about him more tomorrow.”

“I know, Vil.”

..

…

“I _really_ don’t like him.”

“God, you’re so jealous.”

"Am not!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> funny funny haha chapter  
> xoxo time to introduce an annoying character so villanelle can beat the living hell out of him if he looks at eve


	7. you didn't even send a postcard back.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse for how long this took xo

“Uh- I’m not really sure that’s such a good idea.”

Villanelle reclines back in the rusty metal chair she’s in, and frowns, seemingly mulling over something. “Whatever, Rocky, I don’t see you coming up with any fun ideas,” she huffs, taking another bite out of the almost-finished ice cream cone in her hand.

  
Outside of an old ice cream parlor, sitting across from Villanelle, Rocco grimaces. “I’m not coming up with any ideas because I’m not sure what you plotting to pickpocket people has anything to do with our trip,” he looks around at the oblivious pedestrians passing by. “these people haven’t done anything.”

“You don’t know that,” she grumbles, then tilts her head back to groan loudly. “UGH! How long do we have to sit here?”

Rocco doesn’t respond, probably because she’s been asking that question for the past half an hour. Eve and Carolyn are a few storefronts down, discussing their plans to head to Russia. Villanelle had only stuck around long enough for Carolyn to start talking, before she got bored and proclaimed she was getting ice cream. Eve sent Rocco to accompany her, much to the younger woman’s disdain.

“So, when did MI6 first learn about you again?”

Funnily enough, as much as Rocco was, deep down, terrified of Villanelle, it didn’t stop him from trying to poke and prod at her for information on her case. Most likely because he knew she wouldn’t hurt him lest she be punished.  
  
Villanelle sighs, deciding she will play along for now. “Well, I was ordered to kill a witness to one of my earlier jobs, NOT-“ she throws a glare at Rocco who had his mouth open, effectively cutting him off before he could utter a word, “-because I was sloppy.” Shoving the rest of the cone in her mouth, she continues, albeit muffled now. “I was just about to head in when me and your very own agent Eve Polastri ran into each other. I am guessing I got distracted,” she shrugs, “because I ended up killing 3 more people then I was ordered to.” She finishes, grinning wickedly at the now squeamish man sitting across from her.

“And of course, they chase me, yadda yadda,” she waves around, “there are some…setbacks, but now I am here, working…well, I would say for the good guys, but you never know with Carolyn, right?”

“’Setbacks’ is a funny way of saying you shot me.”

Villanelle spins around, her face lighting up as she sees Eve approaching from behind, Carolyn trailing. She leans her head back over the chair so she’s looking at Eve upside down. “Funny way of saying you stabbed me!” She fires back playfully. “We really should talk about that, now that I’m thinking about it.”

Rocco’s eyes widen and he darts his eyes back and forth between the two women, who are seemingly casually joking about trying to murder each other.

“Oh, _now_ you’re thinking about it?” Eve chides as she pulls up a chair adjacent to Villanelle. “We’ve finished planning. We’re going to try to head there and back as quickly as we can, so we’ll be stopping in different places on our coming and going trips. First,” she steels herself, “-we’re stopping in Berlin.”

Villanelle’s eyes widen a fraction. “Oh.”

“What? Is it dangerous this time of year?” Rocco questions, leaning forward.

“No, no, nothing like that,” Eve dismisses with a wave of her hand. “We’ll only be staying for a day. We should leave tonight.” Abandoning her seat, she nods towards Carolyn, and looks back at the two still seated. “Come on.”

  
Rocco eyes Villanelle as she immediately listens and skips ahead to catch up with Eve. He wasn’t really sure of the surrounding nature of the relationship between these two, only what he had heard from Carolyn- that Eve was an ex-MI5-turned-secret-MI6 agent who caught one of the top assassins in the world- and who, apparently, is now a friend.

* * *

They’d in the end decided to book a hotel for the night, Villanelle having been tired of the safe house. It couldn’t be too flashy, though, much to her contempt. Carolyn was staying elsewhere but apparently hadn’t arranged Rocco a place, so Eve being the “good Samaritan” she was, offered to take him for the night with them.  
  
 _I don’t like that term,_ Villanelle had said. _Good Samaritan. It reminds me of bad people._

_That’s literally the opposite of what it means, Villanelle,_ Eve had replied.

The hotel was small, with a square room wherein a couch and box TV sat, and 2 rooms off to the right.

  
“So, one of us will take the couch?” Rocco assumes as they settle in for the short night.

“Nope!” Villanelle quips in response. She skips over to the bedrooms, takes a gander at both, ducks into what Rocco assumes is her favorite of the two, and leans her head back out the door to address Eve. “I get the right side.” She smiles.

Eve waves her off. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Rocco opened his mouth to say something, but closed it before he fell short of gaping.

***

Despite Villanelle’s desire to stay in her bedroom all night long, she reluctantly joins the two others for a late dinner. Rocco sits on one of the dining chairs he’d pulled over adjacent to the couch, whilst Eve sits on the couch herself. Villanelle had taken to stretching out on the other side of the couch, arms crossed like a stubborn child in response to this event she was unwillingly participating in, with her legs across Eve’s lap, who didn’t seem to mind. They’d both since changed into more casual loungewear.

Rocco and Eve talked about boring things. Work. Personal life, which Eve was glad to let him drone on about while she shied away from revealing much herself.

“Don’t you ever get worried? I mean, about the kind of work we do.” Rocco questions. Villanelle has been ignoring him up to this point, but something tugs at her chest when he says _we_. He couldn’t possibly imagine the kind of things Eve has done that he’d probably quit on the spot from.

“Hm? I mean, there’s not much time to worry, is there? We’re always on the move.” Eve responds, laughing out the end a bit.  
  
“Yeah,” Rocco leans back in the chair, “I’m just…thinking out loud. Just wondering what I really signed up for when I started working for MI6. I mean…” He shrugs and looks towards Eve. “Sometimes, for the sake of safety, our department just- ceases to exist. Isn’t that crazy?”

“Oh, well actually I’m legally dead.” Eve immediately responds.

“I mean- uh- wait. What?”

“Yeah, there was like a,” she waves around, “thing. Funeral and everything. So I cease to exist, basically, all the time. But go, continue, please.”

Rocco narrows his eyes, but a smile creeps onto his face. “There is a lot more to you than I read up on. We should share stories.”

Eve laughs lightly. “If you’re making that a competition, I’d definitely win.”

Rocco smiles in response and continues. “I just…worry sometimes, about what might happen to me. People go missing all the time in our field of work. It’s dangerous. Just one slip up, if you get mixed up with the wrong people, one day it could be just-“

He snaps. “-dead.”

Eve purses her lips, and nods understandingly. “It _is_ dangerous. I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve had my fair share of almost,” she snaps. Rocco’s eyes go wide. “No way.”

“Yeah, there was th-“

Eve’s story is cut short by a rustling. She looks over and sees Villanelle staring down at her hands.

She’d stiffened up and that’s what Eve felt, her legs across her lap. Confusion washed over her face, forgetting about her conversation with Rocco, before concern quickly followed.

“Woah, Vil? Hey-“ Eve starts to reach for her but Villanelle suddenly stands.

“I’m going to bed,” she all but strains out before hurriedly exiting and disappearing into her chosen bedroom from earlier.

“What was that?” Rocco wonders out loud, looking to Eve. She’s still looking at Villanelle’s door, where she passed moments before.

  
“I gotta-“ she stands up, looks back down to Rocco. “Sorry. I have to-“ gesturing vaguely to the door, she apologises to him. “We’ll talk tomorrow!” and those are the words she leaves him with as he sits in the living room, dumfounded.

***

  
Villanelle is shaking. She doesn’t cry, but something akin to a sob keeps scratching at the base of her throat. She paces at the foot of the bed, trying to steady her breathing. She can’t. She can’t breathe. She wasn’t even supposed to be paying attention to him, but when he-

Her hands come up to scratch at the base of her skull, running her fingers through her hair hurriedly. She can’t focus on anything in the room, everything blurring in her vision, so she squeezes her eyes shut and wills the panic to cease. Dead. That’s what he said. Eve. Dead.

  
_Eve is dead?_

She suddenly finds herself backing into the corner, shrinking down and trying to make herself as small as possible. Shaking violently with each breath, she shakes her head to try to ground herself, only to be met with an earsplitting headache in response.

“Villanelle?”

Eve enters the room slowly, shutting the door behind her, and pads over to where Villanelle is. She doesn’t register the other woman.

She kneels down in front of Villanelle, who’s curled in on herself so much she can barely see the younger woman’s face.

“Hey, did something happen?” Eve refrains from reaching out a hand, for now, because she knows Villanelle has an issue with space ever since her nightmare after the bridge. Villanelle shakes her head, but it doesn’t feel like a no.

“I am the wrong people, Eve.” She whispers out.

“What?” Eve asks in disbelief, moving closer to Villanelle. She brings her hands up and stops Villanelle from scratching red marks at the back of her neck any further. “What are you talking about?”

“I am, what he said. You could be dead right now, because I am the wrong people,” she says, insistently, tugging on Eve’s hands. “ _The wrong people you should not be getting mixed up with._ ”

Eve frowns. “Vil…I think I’ve made it pretty clear I don’t care what kind of ‘people’ you are,” she starts softly. “I know what you’ve done.”

  
Villanelle whimpers, shaking her head at that. “No, Eve,” she says. “You don’t.”

“Then let me stay. I still want to know everything, Villanelle. You already asked me to leave once, and you know how that worked out.” Eve chuckles quietly. “Do you even know how happy that made me? Not that you were trying to leave, but you were giving _me_ the option to. You’re so much more than everyone says you are,” she whispers, brushing her thumbs over Villanelle’s hands, still in hers.

“So I understand what you’re saying. But you’re wrong. You gave me the option once, and I choose you. I choose you, Villanelle. You will _never_ be the wrong people to me.”

The way Villanelle looks up at her then, makes it seem like something has shed between them. A wall has come down, and Villanelle sniffs once before leaning in and burying her face in Eve’s shoulder.

  
***

“Eve?”  
  


“Hm?”

Eve had since convinced Villanelle to move from the corner to the bed, where they lay underneath the huge duvet, Eve curled up with her head on Villanelle’s chest, her hand in turn thrown across Villanelle’s waist as the younger woman traced patterns in her arm.

“Why did you never come to visit me in Amsterdam?”

Eve raises her head to look her counterpart in the eyes. “You mean the guy you hung upside down?”

Villanelle hums in confirmation, looking away. “You didn’t even send a postcard back.”

“Well, I wanted to, but Caro- wait, back? You sent me a postcard?”

Now Villanelle is confused. “You didn’t ignore it?”

Eve props herself up on one elbow and raises up to look down over at Villanelle. “I never got a postcard. When I heard about the kill, I asked Carolyn to go but she ordered me to stay in and sent Jess instead, and hold on, you sent me a _postcard_?”

“…yes?” Villanelle starts. “I thought you weren’t chasing me anymore, I thought you had forgotten. I was trying to remind you.” She frowns. “After you didn’t show up, I thought that, maybe, Raymond and Konstantin were right.”

Eve shakes her head quickly. “You’re crazy if you think for a second I stopped thinking about you.”

Villanelle is shocked, for a moment. Then she smiles, nods once to herself, as if confirming Eve’s words to herself. Then wraps her arm back around Eve and curls into her side, mimicking the position they were in before, reversed.

“You didn’t forget about me.” She whispers into Eve’s neck.

“Couldn’t if I tried,” Eve responds, threading her fingers through Villanelle’s hair until it lulls her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will literally lose my mind if they don't talk about amsterdam ever. villanelle was so sad.


End file.
